Conversation with a Teenage Boy...

I love my 16 year old stepson dearly. I met him when he was only 9 years old and he's lived with me and his Dad for the last 6 years. We used to read books at night before bedtime, my favorite being the Judy Bloom Series about Peter Hatcher and his little brother, Fudge. J has outgrown reading together, as well as hanging out with his "old" parents. As I said, I love him dearly, but he gives me SO much material to work with here...

A typical conversation with J starts out...
"J, can you please come down here?", wait 5 minutes, impatiently
"J, can you please come down here?" as I stomp up the stairs to the batcave, which smells like a used gym sock
"J, I've been calling you for the past 5 minutes. Come down for dinner, please."
"Huh?" J-
"Dinner is ready." I try using rudimentary, caveman sign language
"What did you make?"
"Monday surprise."
"Huh?"
"Just come down and eat."
Meanwhile the baby is turning the TV in J's room on and off and asking "Was dis?"
I know he's finally heard what I said when I hear him coming down the stairs, which sounds like a herd of wildebeast running from a lion
"God, not meat again. I hate meat." Doesn't matter what I make, he hates steak, pork, chicken etc. He nevertheless starts scooping.
"It's too dry. I hate dry meat."
Hmm. "I guess you can make dinner tomorrow night." I'm smugly thinking this will stop him in his tracks, since he only knows how to nuke a Hot Pocket.
"Fine, I will."
"What are you going to make?" Grin more.
"I don't know. Not meat."
J shoves the rest of the dry meat in his mouth as he walks to the sink.
"J, can you please empty the dishwasher so I can refill since I slaved over this meal?"
I'm not sure what he says, but I'm pretty sure it isn't "Yes, and thank you so much for the lovely dinner." Nevertheless, he empties the dishwasher with the baby's "help" and stomps back up to the cave.
Later than evening...
"J, it's time to get off the computer, turn the TV off and go to bed."
"Why, it's only 10:30. Why do I have to get off. I'm not even tired. Rrrrr, Grrrrl."
"Because, as a teenage boy you need at least 8 hours sleep, if not more and I said so."
"But why?"
"Mostly, because I said so."
"But that's not an answer."
"It's the only answer you are going to get tonight. Go to bed. I love you."
"Grrr, bargqeg..."Roughly translated, I love you too, hugs and kisses!