Okay, have you ever taken your kids out to celebrate a big event, like say, a birthday?
Dinner for two=relaxing and a digestive delight
Dinner for three=mildly relaxing depending on the age of the third
Dinner for four=doable with threats and intimidation
Dinner for five=mildly embarrassing and loud
Dinner for six=should have stayed home as you scarf whatever you can off of your plate!
The hubby and I took our 4 kids out to dinner last weekend to celebrate N's 11th birthday. We went at an off hour in hopes that it wouldn't be too crowded and semi-relaxing. We order with little issue. Then the fun starts. I live with my husband, our 2 year old and 15 year old, we'll call him J. The 2 year old starts to squirm, my husband's daughter B is texting on her phone and N is relatively quiet. J is playing on his Ipod when my husband tells him we are cancelling cell service in a few days. J sputters and stomps and has a meltdown at the table as my husband starts to argue with him. This goes on as 2 year old A spills her drink and tries to jump out of the high chair, B jumps in to the cell disaster conversation and N watches the juice soak into the carpet. As J is about to be grounded for his surly attitude our food arrives. I help A with her bib, which she promptly rips off and starts yelling for "Ju"(juice in English). I try to juggle my food and hers, eating as fast as is humanly possible as she flings mashed potatoes after the spilled juice. I bet next time the servers will put us in a corner with plastic under the table and a glass partition to keep us away from the other folk!!!! Finally, the check arrives. I take A to wash her hands and face and hair, the Hubby pays the bill, B starts texting, N looks lost and J continues the tantrum, muttering a curse upon his parents under his breath. Ah, nothing like a Rockwell family dinner. Next time we'll order a pizza, a babysitter and a cleanup crew!!!
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yaaaay! awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'd go with the soup next time.
ReplyDeletePerhaps a better suggestion would be to drop the bomb a bit differently? Maybe inform everyone that rent is going up and they get to choose between cell phones and shelter. That should take care of the older than 10 population. If nothing else, inform them that they need to wash dishes to pay for dinner.
The two year old...? Yep. That's gonna happen. Don't try to change it. You should play along with it! Offer juice when asked for juice. Just have that bottle of lime or lemon juice handy and you'll be amazed at how quickly the vocabulary improves!
...Or just get lemon slices any time you go to a restaurant. Those are semi-entertaining. Pickles too.
I'll bet there were some comments made by the cleanup crew at the restaurant, but half of them are thinking, "My God I hope I don't turn out like that", and then they do.